Following My Passion

Sitting in my office at home at 2AM on a work conference call, I did anything to stay awake. I ate Doritos, chomped on candy and surfed the net...it was either die from a junk food overdose or die of boredom. I read about Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. "Ha!" I thought, "Jamie better not see me now, Doritos in hand at 2AM". I moved to juicy Hollywood gossip and then finally to check out one of my favorite writers - Liz Gilbert.






The author of the NY Times Best Selling "Eat, Pray, Love" her site was uncomplicated and very yellow. I clicked through the page highlighting her books, then onto her bio, how to book her for speaking engagements and then to a section called "Thoughts on Writing". As I read her comments on how she became a writer, her advice to others wanting to write and the "art" of writing, I couldn't help but think about myself and my own dreams of becoming a "real" writer someday. She wrote, "I became a writer the way other people become monks or nuns. I made a vow to writing very young. I became a Bride-of-Writing"

A "bride of writing" wow - I had never looked at writing this way. I knew a strong commitment was necessary, and of course talent, but being a "bride" really spoke of the commitment she has. I read on, becoming a more starry eyed with her thoughts, "You must find another reason to work, other than the desire for success or recognition. It must come from another place". Goofy as it sounds now - her words resounded with me - reminding me to think about my own devotion and motives for writing.

I admit I've had the occasional daydream of the moment when one of my first best-seller books will be put on show (singular soft, white spotlight beaming down on the books while angels gently sing in the background, "ahhhhhhh") Of course, it would be at the front of a very large book store, my face on the back looking like the distinguished writer I am. People would be lining up to meet me and tell me how ingeniously written the book was.

Ha! Back to reality. All joking aside, I do feel "called" to write and know that if I don't write at least one book before my life is through, I will not have carried out one of my life's purposes. As far as motives go - they are to write about what touches me in hopes that it touches others. I'm a "thinker" and want to write about life's teachable moments and the good that has come out of the hard times in my life. In short, I want to encourage others. A noble sounding cause I know, but Winston Churchill once said, "What is the use of living, if not to strive for noble causes and to make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone"

For now, I'm continuing to have my occasional "dates" with my writing while I carry on my life married to a wonderful man and raising my four children with him. For years, I've struggled with pursuing my dream and fulfilling my duty as a mom and wife but what mom doesn't?? I've come to accept that my career as a writer won't happen over night but have also come to realize that with my heart constantly nudging and tugging me towards writing - it won't be a passion that will die easy.

I'll get there. I need to learn how to just put my writing "out there" and be less of a perfectionist about it. I'll continue to fight to carve out time for it so that me and writing can get more acquainted and comfortable with each other and perhaps eventually move on to "marriage". Like Liz Gilbert, I'll need equal parts passion, devotion and dreaming sprinkled with hard work and determination. She wrote that her goal at the age of 19 was to get something (anything) published before she died. I think that seems like a realistic goal for me too. People do it every day.